What to say to an injured runner

A. Missing some training this close to your race isn’t a big deal.
B. Clearly it’s a sign your body needs some rest.
C. Time for some cross-training!
D. That’s not as bad as when I got injured and blah, blah, blah…
E. Nothing

The correct answer is E! That’s the only one that doesn’t carry a high risk of being strangled by a pair of compression sleeves. Just throw a bag of Oreos at said runner and back slowly out of the room, avoiding eye contact. If the runner makes a lunge for you, don’t worry too much because they’re injured and can’t go very far or fast! They can swear a blue streak, however, so you may need to avoid all contact if your sensibilities are easily offended.

Running Deficit Disorder

I have determined that I have RDD, Running Deficit Disorder.  It is known to set in during periods of prolonged, forced inactivity.  The key symptom is spending obscene amounts of money on running and race related events and gear when you currently can’t run even a mile.  To whit, in the past few weeks, I have:

  • Registered for the Fairfax 4 Miler on New Year’s Eve, even though I may be just walking it
  • Registered for the Cupid’s Undie Run in February (it’s to benefit children’s cancer research so feel free to click on the link and donate!)
  • Registered for Rock ‘n Roll DC half in March – It was  a good deal!
  • Entered and was accepted for the Cherry Blossom Ten Miler in April – It was a good deal!
  • Registered a team for the Ragnar Trail Relay in West Virginia in June – it was a … oh, who am I kidding?
  • Registered for a Spartan Super in August
  • Signed up for swim classes beginning in January
  • Signed up for tri training with Swim, Bike, Mom

I’m pretty sure I’ve done more but I can remember what.  I swear, I’m spending money faster than a drunken sailor on shore leave!

I have the utmost respect for the military but put a race bib on him and this could be me!

In an effort to reign it in a bit, I have decided to not push for three half marathons in March/April that I would need to “moon up” a level in the Half Fanatics group.  One would require travel and the other is pretty pricy so I’m going to let them slide.  I also plan to restrict the travel races next year to just the Spartan, Ragnar, and maybe one in Pittsburgh (I really want to do a race there and spend the weekend so Little Runner can have fun at the museums).

Unfortunately, the only “cure” for RDD is to get back in to training.  For my bank account’s sake, I hope that’s soon!

6-ish Stages of Run Avoidance

(my apologies to Dr. Kubler-Ross)

1. Denial – I didn’t really have a run scheduled for today!  Oh, what’s that written in my scheduled? That’s just an optional run, not mandatory!

2. Anger – Yes, I DO know my big race is only 18 weeks out!  Why can’t you just let me take a nap?  I’m tired!

2a. Stalling – How can I possibly focus on my form when our son’s play room is a mess and there are still boxes in the garage from 6 moves ago and my spices aren’t alphabetized??

3. Bargaining – Listen, I’ll run some extra miles on Friday!  I will double up and hit it HARD all next week!

4. Depression – I know this is a lost cause!  Why bother? I’m just a slug!  Where did you hide the cookies??

5. Acceptance – Fine, where are my shoes?

6. Gratitude – Man, I’m glad I got my run in!  Why did I wait so long??

Some days we make it through all of the stages and some days we eat the damn cookies… But every day is a fresh start!